"I write everything down except what's on my mind"

late nights with too much help
followed by inappropriate actions
early in the morning
you gave me so short a warning
somehow the shoes I used to wear
are way to big to fill
must be this empty apartment
must be your voice in my head
must be
the pacific is calling me
screaming for me
ever since I ate the lotus
ever since I met you
so how do I take an apology
a sincere sorry
I imagined breaking your nose
instead I smiled weakly and nodded
I still wish you were dead
must be this voice inside my head
must be the girl I used to be
must be
the pacific is dancing for me
screaming out my name
ever since I ate the lotus
ever since I lost superior
ever since I ate the lotus
ever since I lost home